When we are going through dis…ease I feel a lot of shame comes with it. We feel we should put on a brave face and get on with it, for me I have felt this more~so over these last few years being a healer and coach myself. I have felt I should be strong and carry on no matter what ~ just getting on with it….
Menieres disease (dis….ease) is a great one for this too as you can see it ~ its from within and all can look perfectly normal on the outside. Since I last checked in here I have had such amazing positive life changing things happening ~ dreams coming true as I settle into my new cottage in the country ~ for which I am SO grateful as I know this will support my healing too….
That said its been the most contrasty negative month when it comes to my health and hearing ~ since my last episode with menieres ~ the one in manchester, I have kept the fullness and deafness in my right ear accompanied by the most ridiculous whooshing. Its caused a lot of frustration in me and if you know me this isn’t my vibe! I am usually a happy smiler no matter what the weather ~ this time its been different… I have been able to continue my coaching practice on and off and had a few weeks offline with the housemove anyway so all good on that front but I have still felt really pissed off….
I have been allowing all of these feelings to come up and out and using a lot of EFT (emotional freedom technique) which is where we state how we feel whilst tapping on particular meridian points and actually say ~ Even though I feel this way (stating the way we feel) ~ so for me its been a lot of Even though I feel frustrated fed up and disappointed that I feel this way I STILL completely and deeply love honor and accept myself.
However we are feeling we CAN still love honor and accept ourselves.
My fullness and whooshing led to a full on episode this week ~ the worst I have had yet. I was at the supermarket and nearly blacked out ~ you know those kind of moments where buttons are being pushed (i.e. triggers). The hustle bustle, the noise, the people all around, the low level lighting and long aisles. It pushed my buttons to start what I feel had been a long time coming.
We managed to get home and I got some sleep. The calm before the storm. Its the first time its happened in my new cottage and I feel very safe and secure here. Last episode we were away from home in a hotel so it was important for me to re~balance fast. This time I could allow myself to go through this. To just be as much as I could. I used all my usual techniques (just ask if you could like to chat through any of these I am here for you too 🙂 )
I am very grateful to be sat here today typing this post as I must be open here and say the drama queen in me actually thought she was going to die at one point! Seriously it was flipping awful! I was WAY DOWN the emotional scale and felt like someone had launched me off the moon with no spaceship! free falling…. sick sick sick in so many ways… I remember myself saying this dis…ease is evil as I gripped onto the bed trying to hold myself up. I felt so ashamed to be here again and so soon after the last one and get this…. the last few times I have manifested this happening when my chaps on holiday so he ends up being my chief puke partner and bucket washer ~ bless him 🙂
I must say I am also in total appreciation to have so much love and support around me at this time. I even told my new neighbors what the crack is ~ shame creeping in thinking they might think I’m some mad alcoholic slurring her words and wobbling around the house and garden. They are all lovely and I even got a beautiful bunch of daffies from my new friend who owns the country cottage where I will be running my retreats very soon….
So having come through this negative contrast I can now see the light again. 48 hours in bed and lots of puking ~ plus side I am totally detoxed and up to date with beauty sleep 🙂 Been for a lovely walk today. Felt the worry creeping in as I am still a little dizzy ~ will I be ok? can I do this? what if I can never leave the house again? You know the score…
When we can pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, be totally open and honest about the feelings which are coming up then we can love and accept ourselves. Whatever be happening in each of our lives and however bed it feels to each of us we are doing GREAT! we are doing REALLY GREAT 🙂 time for some self love…..
Even though I have Menieres Disease I completely & Deeply Love Honor & Accept Myself….
I let go ~ I surrender ~ I am no longer here to fight it, try and heal it, get rid of it, judge it or whatever the F*** ever it (btw have you read the book F*** it the ultimate spiritual way ? its FAB!) …..
So YES! I give up ~ I let go and let god….. I am still going to be happy and love my life no matter what ~ I am still going to have fun and do what I love and I am still going to LIVE ! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I am here and I am well ! How great can I allow life to be ?
I love you too! thanks for being here 🙂
If I can support you in any way get in touch ~ we are all in this together and the more we open up and share this shit the more we release the stress and tension of holding onto it which is what causes the dis…ease in the first place! Ironic really isnt it 🙂
If you would like to experience 21 days of life changing magic I invite you to join my online community Magical YOUniverse ~ Click here to join the Magical YOUniverse Community and take part in the 21 days of magic
If you would like some support clearing away the fears and regaining your balance get in touch my doors always open ~ you can reach me direct here ~ Love to hear from you 🙂
I look forward to checking in next time with lots of good news and happy balanced times 🙂 Hopeful it a GREAT place to be 🙂
see you soon!
PS ~ I have also started meditating ~ to start with the highlighted the whooshing in my ears and made everything seem more intense. That said I feel its going to support me in the long run…. Quieting my mind and allowing all the mental chatter to fall away… I will keep you updated! feels GOOD to do this…. Meditations what we need 😉
PPS ~ I made this video the day after this post and wanted to share my lightbulb moment with you… click here to watch on youtube